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Ahh, personality test results

You are realistic, outspoken, direct, objective, practical, optimistic, adaptable. You are a fun person to know. You don’t mince words. People always know exactly where you stand and the way you present what you think often makes people laugh. You state the direct facts so objectively that even the most sensitive types usually aren’t offended when your statement reflects negatively on them.

You like your work to be exciting and new and open to your creative touch. More than other types you get bored quickly when dealing with the mundane and routine and are first to notice an opportunity for stimulation. As a child you were excited, high energy and curious and possibly mistakenly mislabeled as “hyperactive” or “unfocused.”

You get impatient when subjected to long theoretical explanations and prefer that people stick to the facts and get directly to the point.

Your are skilled with equipment, and excel at making events sound interesting or points seem obvious.

Of all types, you are the most likely to know where the action is. You are smooth and sophisticated, knowing what to say to who to get what you want.

You rely on yourself and trust common sense to get things done in nearly all circumstances. You are concerned with what works rather than what meets social norms, although you know how to use social norms to your advantage when that’s what works.

You don’t get sentimentally attached to items or procedures the way other people do. This makes you particularly inventive because everything is negotiable on every new project.

oh fuck, its date night

so yes, after like a year, tonight is date night. i am meeting a nice boy that i met on the internet at bayshore for dinner and such. i am not totally freaking out, but i am stressing a little bit. i am a tad rusty at this. also, my car broke so i am duffle bagging it at the parent's place, which doesn't help my nerves. i don't need to hear what they think about what i'm wearing or what i should say or do before i head out. i certainly don't like having to drive an unfamiliar car either. oh well. i'm sure i will be fine when i get there. he seems really nice and he's pretty cute too. who knows what will happen, all i can hope for is that he likes me. as for me liking him, well, thats another thing, heh. it would be good to end the streak of alone-ness.

Jan. 23rd, 2009

Stealing things from Mandy...

The first SIX (6) people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those six who respond first.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
⇒I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
⇒What I create will be just for you.
⇒It'll be done this year.
⇒You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix tape. It may be fic, or a poem. I may draw or paint something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
⇒I reserve the right to do something extremely strange (and with me, that is a definite possibility! ;-D)

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!

01. Manderini

And if you don't know if I know your address, you best to include that!

a post with some general substance

well, lets see. here comes a post on ATC, christmas, and beyond. first thing's first

ATC - roughly december 13th

the army annual training conference at the kalahari went generally well. we got there on friday and unloaded all of our stuff. i was then able to go to my BIG ASS ROOM and relax. i took a really sweet bath and simply relaxed for a good long time. then it was time to get ready for the theme parties taking place that night. our theme was the 70s and my costume was the bomb. home made bell bottoms. woodstock shirt. pink sunglasses. pigtails. totally bitchin. i went to the party for a while as it started up and then split to go find sancho and let him into our room so he could change too. i noticed how close we have become when he decided it wasn't enough to just tell me the pants i had picked out for him didn't fit, so he would show me. *sigh* he still looked awesome, leisure suit jacket and wide collared shirt. we had complementary hippie flasks with "peace" and "love" written on them, which we didn't use because neither of us drinks hard booze. i also procured a peace sign purse which i now love and use regularly which can hold 6 beers, which became important, as the kalahari hires illegal beer nazis to watch over their guests who don't like paying out their ass for alcohol. my favorite recruiter didn't fully understand that our theme was the reason i dressed up like a "damn dirty hippie" and made fun of me all night, which was excellent. paul didn't particularly like my choice of beer, so we drank in general moderation and had an okay time. the night ended, as most do, with me drinking a little too much and being an ass to poor paul, until we had a pretty good talk and got to go to sleep with no major hurt feelings. for me it marked an ending of an era with him, though i doubt he knows that. it also marked the beginning of something greater for the both of us. i feel like i have created a life long friend in him and i hope he feels the same.

the next day we fully intended to go to the water park but instead ended up taking the sweetest 3 and a half hour nap i have ever had. then we got all formaled up. i was looking pretty damn good, but still decided to wear some strange female garment that holds in one's stomach to get all of your curves right. bad move. that sucker hurt so bad and i coudn't sit right to paul's ammusement. he, on the other hand, hadn't realized how formal the attire was to be and only brought a white shirt and kahkis. he felt bad all evening for not having a tie on, but i doubt anyone else noticed. we did dinner and awards and chatting with co workers who all found him to be quite charming. he also bought me all of my drinks that evening. we even have photographic proof. amazing. in a nut shell, that was it. we went to bed, him on the couch with his shoes still on. amazing.

christmas - december 24-25

christmas eve was spent at my aunt pat's. previous to going, my sister and i gave mom and dad their present of a photo collage of the two of us. they loved it. i'm glad. my sister got me a toaster and i got her the periodic table shower curtain from the big bang theory. at my aunt's, i drank a lot and didn't really get any gifts. overall, nothing much happened.

christmas day was spent at my aunt sue's. that morning, before we left i got $200 from my parents. i bought a dish washer with it. i am lazy. i drank a bit and socialized. ate good food, or so i thought. got new glasses (the drinking kind) from my god mother. got a savings bond from the grandparents. went home and got really sick. i threw up all of my christmas dinner. we'll label that one as a scratch.

second christmas - december 27

we had our christmas party with the other side of the family. yet again, i drank and got no presents. my younger cousin has a new boyfriend whom she brought to meet the family. he is a lot like paul. he's student body president for the uw colleges, that being their 2 year type colleges. he has also run for public office. he kind of gives me some strange vibes, but they seem happy. naive, but happy. we played take away bingo and i got a candy necklace and some applesauce. i love family traditions.

cristian's baptism - december 28

got to the church on the south side with no problems which is huge for me. saw the clan whom i hadn't seen in forever, something that i must remedy. didn't burst into flames when i went into the nice hippie church they picked out. the whole ceremony was lovely. cj was very good up until the end when he got sleepy, which is understandable. went back to the house and ate and ate and ate, what a spread! lol. hung out with everyone and gave cj his baptism and christmas presents. great minds think alike as both god mommies opted for a form of build-a-bear gift. i was really tired and ended up heading home a tad early. it was really good to see everyone though.

the greatest surprise - december 29

jordan was supposed to come visit me since he is home now from oregon. i was very excited, cleaned and got looking all nice. and then the time started to tick by. at about 7:30 i assumed he wasn't coming. i called justin to chat and complain. i told him i was just going to start drinking, which he agreed was a good plan. about 8:30, there is a knock on my door. i looked out my bedroom window to see the top of a head of a young man. i can only assume it would be jordan so i went down to answer the door. it was justin! holy shit! i must have looked at him like, wtf, for a little bit before a huge grin came over my face and i pretty much lept on him. as far as i knew, he was in cali. but i guess he had come back for a short visit. he had been looking for a good time to come see me and after getting my call decided that night would be ideal. what a sweet lifesaver. fixed the whole evening. since he needed to retun his dad's car for the morning, i opted to simply drive back to his place with him and then take him back to my place so he could drink and sleep over. we watched wall-e and i scratched his head through the whole movie. we were both very happy to be together again. he's like my other half, i miss him a great deal now that he is so far away. i am, however, coming to visit him at the end of february. it will be my first trip to cali. we ended up talking and messing on the internet until all hours of the night and then going to sleep. we got up in the morning and went to get coffee at mc donalds before i returned him home and said my good byes. it was a truly memorable night. second only to the next event.

new years (eve) - dec 31 - jan 1

so i weasled and pryed my way into getting invited to the whitewater new years party because i really didn't want to spend it alone or with my mom. i got there with taco dip and chicken just as everyone was getting ready to head out. i had my very first jaegar bomb and kept it down. it was actually kinda good. as for who was at the party it was me, paul, joel, crystal, dan, chloe, and a few other people who i hadn't met before. we headed out to the hawkbowl. we bowled and drank and carried on and had a fuckin blast! i bowled two games over 100 and beat paul TWICE! he was being so competitive for a while until he realized i was doing really well. best point was the first time i beat him and someone else let out a toast for everyone who had beaten paul, to which he immediately pointed out the two people who hadn't beaten him in true paul competitive style. it was excellent. we wrang in the new year with paul and i both giving each other a kiss on the cheek. i think our friendship is finally not strange yet again and i am overjoyed. we'll always be a little more than just normal friends, but i am so happy to see him happy, i don't care about the rest... anywho, we started home around 2 or 3, when we were spotted by one of the group's friends who had his car. he offered rides to whomever would like one, so we hopped in. once we were in the car, paul decided he could drink more so he and i stole a ride down to the brass rail together. we sat and drank and talked about everything we couldn't with everyone else around. it was excellent. we must have stayed out til like 4am before we decided to start the trek back to joe and crystal's by foot. thank god for our drinking coats because that is a long, cold walk. since sanchez had claimed the couch almost 14 hours before the party began, i snuggled up on the floor below him and passed out. the morning brought watching of mythbusters and then breakfast/lunch at novaks. then i headed back to joels to grab my stuff, get my awkward paul hug, and head home. it was the best new years i have ever had. i love my whitewater crew. it has been 2 years since i met most of them and i am so glad we still hang out.

that's about it. paul, ryan, nick, and jordan are coming by tomorrow for dinner so i am off to bed to prepare for that. as requested by paul and jordan, i am not serving tomatos, ketchup, fois gras, song birds, tofu, or whale..... *sigh* outlook for future happiness looks good. i am glad to have as many good friends as i do. hopefully i will be less and less busy to accomodate all of them. thanks for hanging in there for this whole post!!!! :)

4 more days...

4 days til ATC! I feel like I'm going to an adult Prom! I am jittery and over-planning. Its just how I work, but once I get there, there is no plan. We just have fun and chill the hell out. I am excited to see Paul again, like really really.

I am also excited that right after ATC Jordan is coming back for Christmas from Oregon! I haven't seen him in a few years and we have been talking a lot as of late. I've been missing having him around to play guitar and have circular conversations about anarchy and religion. *sigh*

It is looking to be a good month. Hopefully, I will have CJ on Wednesday, which will fix the fact that its been a while since I have seen the Reilly clan! Christmas is still up in the air, but I have almost all of my presents finished. I finished my bitchin' 70s pants yesterday, so I am feeling good.

Introspective, but good. My journaling is going well, very interesting. Mostly it makes me worry though, as I read it. I feel the more I write my feelings, the more I go inside myself, and the more i over-analyse or just fixate, but I am so excited to just be able to write all of the crazy down that it doesn't matter yet. Maybe I just need to keep writing and not re-read everything. That would help. I just feel very up in the air generally lately. Who knows why. Maybe its the season. Maybe its my situation. Maybe its just me, I do this from time to time.

Enough on that, back to being happy. Which I am. And excited. I hope this weekend lasts forever.

Next weekend is coming up quickly. That means I get to go to the Wisconsin Dells and stay at the Kalahari for the weekend on the government’s dollar for our Annual Training Conference. Except for the $31 I had to pay for my date’s dinner, which reminds me… Paul is going with me!


We’ve had an awkward few months since Summer, but hopefully we are at a good place now. Being friends isn’t always easy for one reason or another, but I want to make it work so much and so does he so we will have to see what happens. We’ve aired out all of our dirty laundry, I don’t think there is another secret between the two of us, and that’s how good friends should be.


As for this conference (known to those “in the know” as the ATC) there are two main parts that are important. The first is Friday night, which is party night. Our battalion headquarters and each of the six recruiting companies throw their own separate parties which we get to go to, hopping from one to the other. The catch, they are theme parties, with ours being “The 70’s” which means Paul and I have to dress up. I am all for it, and I think he’s going to do it and have fun too. I took care of all planning on that front. It’s only fair, right?


The other part of it, which is why I decided I would like to have a date for the event, is a formal dinner, awards, and dance. I have to wear a long formal dress, which is totally gorgeous by the way, and I need a nice piece of “man candy” to escort me… so Paul will have to do J It’s a really good opportunity for us to just hang out, which we don’t get often, cuz he’s so busy. It should be a nice, stress free weekend. I can’t wait to see how it goes. And with all the recruiters from all over Wisconsin there, you KNOW it will be memorable!

Here are pictures from the Ed Tour at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, and pictures of Brian, this guy I kinda like who I met on the tour. Enjoy!

PICTURES!Collapse )

Oct. 31st, 2008

Do you suppose 36 is kinda of too old to date at 23? I just wonder... he's a very amazing person though. More details possibly to follow after this is less new.

I am full of nerves

I am really worried about talking on Thursday. That is the day by the way, Thursday. I can't seem to get it out of my head now and its friggin awful. I can see a lot of old me starting to show through again, but also I can see that I have been better at internalizing that issue and know that it will be less of an issue in conversation now. I have my crazy on a leash. I just can't see it ending well. It will from my end, but I don't trust the other side of the conversation. I have heard the same thing over and over after similar incidents in the past and I just want him to say "Oh, hey, look, I have changed and yes, this will work and yes I want this" and that is so illogical. No matter what, I know I can't change it, but to have it happen like this really messes with everything that had been set down after all this time. He genuinely thinks that I am beautiful and that may actually mess with me more. Overthinking. I just have to keep busy for a few days and then let what happens happen.

/end ranty *wtf* is she talking about post
note to people who like to piss me off because they think its funny to see me get mad: knock it the fuck off. you keep that up and i seriously won't talk to you anymore.

this isn't really to anyone on livejournal, i just needed to get it off my chest, though it is a good thing for people to know about me. its cool on little things every once in a while, but if its your soul goal in life to piss me off, eventually you will. and then i'll be gone.